Where Does Emotional Self-Awareness Come From?

I’ve been doing some work with the EQi 2.0 and wanted to look more closely at one of the composites: emotional self-awareness. When you really consider it, how is your ability to be aware of emotions, a product of your upbringing? How much of an influence did your parents have on your emotional self-awareness? How important of a role model were your parents when it came to being aware of your emotions?

Perhaps your family, generally kept their feelings to themselves. If they did, how did that impact your ability to connect to what you were feeling if the people around you weren’t comfortable sharing their feelings? This means that not only did expression of emotions affect you from the outside but it gave you a template of how to handle your own emotions.

As you grow up and your sphere of influence expanded so did your exposure to others. How they handled their feelings and their ability to act based on their own awareness most probably taught you what to do with your own feelings.

The bottom line is: if you learned how to deal with your feelings and get in touch with your feelings was a learned experience. You created neural pathways on that. Then the behaviour of how to be aware of your emotions and the impact they have on others must also be learned.
This gives me a good feeling to know that this is something I can learn to improve on and in turn impact my leadership abilities.

How did you learn to appropriately express your feelings? What process did you go through to become self-aware of you emotions? I’m still working on that thought.

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I was in conversation with a good friend today. I ended up saying a few things that even surprised me. I heard the words come out of my mouth but really I was struck by how profound they were. You might say I inspired myself.

Inspiration. The act of being excited about the possibility to do, think or say some thing of importance.

We were discussing how hard it was to accept and acknowledge a person who tells us we’ve inspired them. It was indeed the same as being complimented. Someone saying, “You inspired me!” is in the act of thanking you for highlighting the path to success. They are thanking you for showing them that what they wanted to do was possible.

When we set out to passionately do what we love, of course we will inspire people. But is it possible to accomplish something, while deliberately looking to inspire others? Is it possible to remain authentic and hope to deliberately manufacture inspiration in others?

When I follow what I believe: to create what’s most important, I don’t expect people to be inspired by me. Someone could possibly be inspired by me and I might never know about it. But does it stop me from doing what I do? No. Did I act, in the hope that someone would be inspired by what I did? I don’t think so.

What are your thoughts?

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“What” do I do?

Now that I am clear about what I believe in and how I go about doing things, I’m ready to tell you what it is I actually do. I am a trained to be a Professional Certified Coach. This is my first love, what I’m most passionate about. It can take many forms and I’m prepared to explore any avenue that will work for both me and my clients: Continue reading

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Updating My List of How’s

It was a quick endeavor to get my list of HOW’s on my website. I didn’t want, for one minute to have it left unfinished. It was too important to me to be authentic in this public forum: my website.

I spent some more time exploring what these Elements meant to me and what I could do to make it clear what I was trying to convey. I took out my handy dandy dictionary and spent some time exploring these words and how I connected to them.

While the initial list was close, it didn’t really have the zing I was trying to portray. I had a lot of trouble moving to the next piece: my “WHAT”. I wasn’t sure of the products and services I wanted to offer until I was crystal clear with a final list. I also took the time to finish Simon Sinek’s book “Start with the WHY”. I had some startling insights that made it easier to move on to exactly WHAT I wanted to offer. The other insights are for another post.

So drum roll please…….

  1. Impact: strike or collide with the status quo
  2. Power: energize and ignite to create momentum
  3. Innovate: alter the established norm
  4. Freedom: inspire action without restraint
  5. Intuition: perceive on a direct and immediate level

This was how I was going to do things from now on. When I chose to offer any service, help or support I was going to do in such a way as to be enfolded in these five aspects. I also began to see how they all interconnected with each other. They seemed to build on each other creating a compelling movement forward. I was now ready to work on “WHAT” I had to offer. It all was coming together in a balanced path. I knew that this had been the right step for me to take.

On on the next day, I rested….with a smile on my face and a purpose in my step forward.


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What is my “How”?

I had started on the quest of the Golden Circle and now knew my “Why”. After I sat down and read most of the book I came across an astounding piece of information! My “How’s”. I got what Simon Sinek was talking about when he said, “People buy your ‘Why’ not your ‘What’.” But there was this mysterious “How”. What did it mean? What I understood was that my “How” was the way I built and created my business. On a more personal level it was how I actually created my life.

I still was confused. At first I thought it was my list of Standards. I have this list that I call my moral compass. It contains the following things: Continue reading

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What I Believe…

I recently saw a TED Talk with Simon Sinek talk about the Golden Circle. My mind has not stopped churning since. The ideas spinning from my head have been permeating all my communications for weeks. I challenged people in my Linked In discussion groups to come up with their own “WHY’s”.  I challenged my colleagues to clarify what they believed. I probably started to sound evangelistic.

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No Such Thing As Time Management

I’ve had this article sitting on my desk top for a year. I was meaning to publish it but I never found the time. How appropriate that I would get involved in a group discussion and this issue would come up only to remind the reason it wasn’t published was because of time. It makes me chuckle.

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The Magic of Altruism: Step 5

Entrapment: not a very nice sounding word. It is loaded with negative connotations but in reality this is what you would be doing. I personally don’t abide with being sneaky or tricky and to avoid that I’m upfront about what it is I am doing: I actually tell then. When I do that it’s called Friendly Persuasion. There are different steps that I use to employ this technique when I am talking with would-be volunteers.

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The Magic of Altruism: Step 4

This next step may seem a contradiction to the Crowd Theory. Generally, in a public setting, people are less likely to act, if there is a crowd of people standing around. But if some form of dissent is allowed the combination of ingredients changes the mix.

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The Magic of Altruism: Step 3

You might’ve heard business people talk about ROI: Return on Investment. Another word for it is the Cost/Benefit Ratio. In volunteer-speak this means: what’s in it for me.
That may sound brash or rude but when you think back to the definition of altruism it makes sense. If this is a selfless act there has to be a motivating factor behind why a volunteer does what a volunteer does. What is the inspiration behind this selfless act.
The motivation or “what’s in it for me” is the most important aspect you will bump up against. This Cost/Benefit ratio is what is going to attract people to your cause and to keep them there when the times get rough. Continue reading

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