I have this visual tool I use when people talk about being spontaneous and not wanting to have to plan. Visual tools are great because the visual part of your brain can hold more information and works faster.
When I share my tool, the client I’m working with usually says that to decide now or to say yes to something right now would inhibit their sense of freedom. If this sounds familiar read on…..
What is the tool? How does it work?
Well imagine you are in this nice warm, cozy house. You are looking out the sparkling clear window at an incredible view. Something is happening outside that window and it has caught your eye. Don’t get me wrong, the house is quite lavish. You’ve built it to fit your every want and need. It’s downright beautiful and it was very expensive. But there is something exciting happening out there and you are dying to see what it’s all about.
You go to your front door and are faced with the dilemma of holding on to this cocoon you have built. The minute you step outside the door you might believe it will lock behind you. You are afraid that what is out there just might not be better, more important or exciting than what you already have. Inside you are free to do as you choose. You get to be spontaneous every second of your life as long as it is within the perimeters of the house. If you can’t do it in the house then you don’t get to do it.
But how free is it being stuck inside a house of wants and needs that you have created? Where are the relationships you could have, because you KNOW that no one is in that house except you? Did you know no one gets through the door – because it’s locked. The only one that has been trapped is you. Inside this house you created the illusion that it is all you want or need. You have created the illusion that your life is free and spontaneous.
You have the door open, one foot on the outside and the other is back holding the door open. Right now that pose you have struck is the one called “leaving your options open” or “leaving your foot in the door”. I’ve heard many times how people don’t want to be trapped by their decision and want to keep their options open. That is fine if you don’t want to commit. It’s fine you don’t want to be trapped by a decision you will make by walking out that door and hearing the door swing shut behind you. But really, if you stand there with your foot in the door, half in and half out, how FREE is that?
I know it’s safe inside that house. I used to own one right down the block from you. I know its scary walking out that front door. Would you like to know the interesting part? That door may be locked but it is locked from the inside. No one is getting in because you have it locked from the inside. If you really want to have the door stay open you hold the key right in your back pocket. So here you are: a key in your back pocket, one foot over the threshold and the other still inside your house.
Here is your choice and it will give you freedom beyond your wildest dream. There is no freedom in keeping your foot in the door or your options open. You are stuck standing there. There is no freedom living inside a safe house that no one can get inside of. The REAL freedom is choosing to walk out that door and knowing that you have the key to get back in IF you want.
But I’m willing to bet, that if you’ve already walked out that door, you have a bit of dust accumulating in that nice, cozy and safe house of yours and you’ve haven’t been back in awhile.