I recently saw a TED Talk with Simon Sinek talk about the Golden Circle. My mind has not stopped churning since. The ideas spinning from my head have been permeating all my communications for weeks. I challenged people in my Linked In discussion groups to come up with their own “WHY’s”. I challenged my colleagues to clarify what they believed. I probably started to sound evangelistic.
I turned inwards in my thoughts because really, who was I to be so preachy about beliefs, visions or other peoples’ “Why” when I still wasn’t clear what mine was. At first I thought it was: I feel that everyone deserves to be coached. When I said it out loud it sounded lame. Everyone deserves to be coached and I actively pursue that by coaching with a non-profit organization called Coach Approach. I offer workshops and coaching with local non-profit groups but it isn’t the driving force that keeps me moving.
When I wrote my essay as part of my exam of CoachU Certification they asked why I wanted to coach. I didn’t really talk about what I believed. In fact I truly didn’t answer that. What I did say was, for as long as I can remember, I had been coaching people in my life, one way or another. To be certified was the next action step for me. It was a way to become professional and add credibility to do what I do best: Coach.
I asked a colleague if they would coach me on having some clarity about what my “Why” was. It was driving me crazy that this link was missing. The conversation was very intriguing. I mentioned people deserving coaching but it wasn’t enough. Because really why do I believe everyone deserves to be coach. What is so fundamental about coaching that lights the path of my journey? What is the driving force behind my coaching?
My colleague asked me, what it was about coaching that I was so passionate about. I talked about a lot of things but the bottom line was a phrase that had always stuck in my mind. I had heard it somewhere before and no longer remember who authored it.
I was put here on this earth to create what I say is fundamentally important to me. If we aren’t busy doing that then what ARE we doing? Now you may disagree with me, but I’m okay with that because this is what I believe. You may believe something completely different. This is all about me attracting people into my life who believe what I believe. I’m interested in hanging out with some like-minded people: my tribe.
Whatever “it” is could be the most important thing in my life. It could be the most important thing I had to get done that hour, that day or that week. But if I’m not busy doing that, I am just taking up space. At least that is what I believe. So how to put that in a simple phrase?
I talked about including the idea of “deserve-ability” but really if I am talking about everyone creating what is most important to them then “deserving coaching” is implied. I talked about creating and having what is most important to me but if I create something then I “have it”. So I didn’t need the words “deserve” or “have”. It was all about “create what is most important” ®
I was struck by how solidly that phrase sat in my mind. Yes, every time, I talk to people, coach them or teach them, it’s centered around creating what is most important. When people are stuck then I ask them what is most important. When they become aware of what is most important to them then we talk about what’s stopping them from creating that. This brings up the question of what are they doing if they aren’t creating what is most important to them. How powerful is that?
But it wasn’t enough that I coached people on this. If I was to be truly authentic then I want this belief, or my “Why”, to permeate my life as I move forward. I want this belief to be ever present in my thoughts, my words and my deeds.
So this was only the first step. If I wanted to differentiate myself and my business, as a coach, from all the other businesses out there I needed to know my “How”. I went out and bought Simon Sinek’s book, Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action.
What is your “Why”? How did you go about finding out what it is?